This photo is me 9 years ago in 2014 on March 23rd. I’ll never forget this day. We were living in an upscale apt. Life was good. I was working a few jobs and involved in community serving. However my relationship wasn’t good. Though I was surrounded by so many people, I was begging for attention from one person. I had no clue how to walk alone or do things alone. After all, I married straight out of high school and became dependent on a man. He worked by day coached umpires & referees by night and on his free time watched TV Sports. We were in same house but never speaking.
I always saw my parents and grandparents do things together. So when I wasn’t working or with friends or family, or community my identity was through my ex husband and doing things he liked.
But on this particular day, something broke. I begged my ex to go with me to eat dinner just to get out of the apt. And for us to have a date. I always did things he wanted. And I wanted to get out for a few hours. But sports was on tv and that was his passion. And like always, that was first in our marriage along with the kids.
So, I made the decision for the first time ever to go to a sit down restaurant by myself. I went to Olive Garden. Now, for the single folks who been in this awhile, it may seem easy for you. Or even the married folks it may work for you to do things on your own. But for those who are insecure and unsure of their identity, like I was back then, it’s difficult to take that step of courage.
That day was a day I realized my life should not be centered around a man or my family or friends. But to accept myself and it’s okay to do what I want on my own. It was so liberating to have that experience.
I had no idea later that experience would draw me in to learn about myself and to truly love myself.
**if you are having a hard time right now being alone whether you’re single or married, (you can live in same house and not even speak) learn to embrace this moment. Your Focus Friday message is to Spend some quality time soul searching about yourself and discovering you. It took me so many years just to take a step forward and do something I’ve never done before to show me it can be done.