THIS is for the MATURE audiences👀
I have training and experience that has taught me to recognize certain behaviors. I was one of those people who would lash out at other people because I was dealing with my own silent pain. It wasn’t even about the people it was about the private pain that I was facing behind closed doors. So NOW when opposition comes my way I have to look and say is this really the person I know and love behaving this way or is it something going on with their life?
Experience in history has taught me a lot. I’ve dealt with bad relationships. I’ve dealt with bad friendships. I’ve dealt with bad business and I’ve dealt with bad ministry. And the whole time through it all I kept my head up and I got through it because I didn’t call people out when I could have exposed a lot. And even to this day I still refuse to call people out because karma is very strong. And personally, I know first hand how it can be long lasting damage.
But one thing about me is if I am your friend I am going be loyal and I’m going have your back I’m gonna speak up on your behalf. (EVERYONE knows this about me) I’m not going to shy away and go with the crowd I’m going stand out and because of that it has cost me friendships years ago for not being in agreement with the flow.
So yes, I know what I’m talking about and I’m trying to help somebody here!
In my eyes losing your dignity to NOT defend a person is far more critical in a relationship than just keeping quiet in silence. You’re just as guilty as the person talking for not speaking up!
It’s sad, and takes a min, but once I see the signs, I write blogs About MY OWN life and what Ive learned. I don’t need to gossip. I don’t need to bash another persons name to make myself feel or look good. No matter how nice a "community connection” we may have.
Maybe we are not the same. In my mind I think: “I refuse to be the old person people knew 20 years ago so stop testing me thinking you are going to pull that out of me by stirring up the stinky stuff with words and accusations. “
But just watch and See…
God favors me so be careful who you put your mouth on! And if God favors you, then I pray that he reveals to you the damage you TRY to do toward others to make yourself look good. Especially when you refuse to acknowledge.
Everyone isn’t going to like you or how You operate. But don’t go and bash someone’s name out of bitterness because of it! I feel if people don’t like me and how I am, it’s ok. There’s enough love to go around for me too. I don’t have to try and defend myself. If you’re not for me, remove me. And I see some already did.
People know and feel what gets said, people talk and tell. The thing is about me if I’ve said it to your face then I sure as well don’t have a problem when it sad it again behind your back because that’s not gossiping that’s stating facts of what I said to your face and I stand by it.
I stand behind everything I do and say. The old Robin used to blurt things out and go back and apologize but the new Robin realizes to catch it before she speaks it for the most part. Especially the last five years I’ve learned to get out of my feelings. I thank God for that growth.
I’m not perfect and never will be but some people want to see things from their perception and close the door and still talk. Honey you will never get healed properly by doing things that way! You have to be willing to have an open communication moment unless you’re willing to write the person off 100% for good. And if you do, Stop talking about the pain.
Believe me I had to do that with a 30 year friendship that devastated me. I was scared of walking away and I was scared that I wouldn’t have one friend because I thought she was the only real friend. But after that God birthed new friendships and new support that was healthy but I had to be willing to let go of ugly toxic behavior to move forward and to the next phase of my life of fruitfulness.
I have worked very hard to build my character and my integrity during trying hard times and I will not allow any words to affect me by the “he said she said” thing. Think about it, who are you going to believe with what’s being said? Or are you just intrigue with the gossip?
I’m a peacemaker but I am not a pushover. Never ever again will I allow people to talk to me the way that they’ve talk to me before.
I’ve been dealt with a hand recently that totally blindsided me, but I’m going to get through it because God is my protector and he is my healer.
This is why I write MY OWN STORIES. I dont bash, but I bless hoping to help someone stop their non sense or bring awareness to another to stand up and speak up for themselves.
You will never ever see me call somebody out and bash them in front of another person publicly or privately with false info and not allow them to respond. If I share something with you privately 1) you must be my closest confidant 2) it’s for comfort and to gain wisdom not to gossip!
Take away nuggets:
If You make a mistake humbly try to correct it but beg nobody to fix it. For its to each it’s own.
Never apologize twice. Once you’ve said it it’s been said. It’s up to the other person to receive or not.
Stop using social media as a way to subliminally send messages if you got something to say just say it and confront it. If you’re out here to be a loyal business or a loyal friend then by all means act on it.
In closing, if you have any issue with anyone. Go to the person in the right timing. If they don’t want to talk then know you did your part and move on.
If you think this blog is about you, the reader, then check yourself because vengeance is the Lord’s not mine. Everyone including myself needs to be checked at times. I said what I said it is done.
Robin Shockley
Focus Forward with Robin
S.W.I.F.T. Magazine
Girls Gifted 4 God
Legacy Tree Outreach