“I can’t explain what’s happening. If I tried nobody would understand or probably believe me. But only GOD could do in me what is happening and bringing to fruition.. when I say a “mindset shift” can happen in a blink of an eye, it’s factual! I’ve been tried & tested and failed at times, but I know I am accepted. Therefore I am a new different kind of woman always evolving. This is the moment to remember and the moment to embrace the new different. And even though I don’t understand how to fully walk here in this new different perspective, I will embrace it because I know it has to happen in order to connect with where God wants me to be and to go. This is my reality. And I accept the acceptable new year of what is to come for me!”
I remember saying these words on that day and taking this photo outside wearing someone’s hat! This is why I love memories of photos because I can look back and say wow look at how far I’ve come! This photo was taken one night when I did a last minute blind date from Facebook dating online. I had not been on there in a long time and this guy pops up. We met at Red Bowl on Pelham Rd in Greenville SC and I had so much laughter and joy that night. We shut the place down talking and continued talking until 3am that morning standing outside our cars in the parking lot!
To sum it up, We dated a few months and he lived an hour away but he always showed up during the week. And one time he surprised me after hearing me on a TV show live sharing my story, he drove listening to me and said he was inspired so much he had to come see me. Although I love surprises I don’t like surprises where people just show up at my house unexpected but I was very excited to see him. We would watch movies together and talk a lot about life and goals.
We worked out at the gym together took a trip together and he was a Great gentleman. Always opening my car door, pumping my gas, holding my hand too.
But the downfall was, he had an “ex girlfriend” who wanted someone else and she broke his heart. And I was the rebound! Then she found out I was dating him and she fought to get him back, not because she wanted him, but because he found someone else. She did everything she could to divide us and because he was not strong enough to withstand her Temptations he was talking to both of us.
But eventually he told me it was just me and he was not seeing her at all and he knew she did not want him and he wanted a fresh start and a new beginning.
He was so excited he wanted to go to church on New Year’s Eve and I said OK that would be great. We planned to meet at my house after I got off work.
But something happened he received the phone call. She gave him a sob story as she always does and he had just lost one of his friends so they were in mourning together on the phone.
On New Year’s Eve two years ago he stood me up to go be with her in Charlotte NC. I was devestated. He lied to me of course and didn’t tell me the truth but I did find out. There’s so much more to the story and I wrote an article about it for the pain 2 purpose magazine a few years ago.
Long story short one day God had me praying for him and praying for the girl because I didn’t want to be with somebody who did not want me fully and wholeheartedly. God totally healed my heart and I was able to forgive him. I told him as long as he is in a relationship I cannot be his friend but if that ever changes I would be his friend only.
He left the girlfriend because he realized she was still the same person who he thought she was but he needed to find out by being with her again. He called me to help assist him and of course I was there and I did. I even went to visit his aunt with him. That was basically the last communication that we had except One time I went to visit him last year (as only a friend) at his new location and he is doing really good for himself and he’s living for himself and not through a woman. He even has a business that is prospering.
Then this year randomly we connect on messenger. This year in April he sends me $100 cashap and says it’s because I helped him move when He needed help. I was in shock because we had not even communicated in a year. Wecwished each other well and that was that. We haven’t spoken since that moment.
What I have learned from this encounter of dating this guy and then being heartbroken and then still continuing a friendship and ending it peacefully only to get blessed in return is that I continue to have joy myself. I could have stayed bitter and upset thinking negative about him.
Before I had met this guy I was very negative about relationships and the possibility of falling in love. I did not fall in love with this guy but being with him during that time taught me that real love can exist real love can be felt real love can be lived. I enjoyed being around him I enjoyed laughing and cutting up and just being myself. I had gotten a taste of what love could feel like if it ever happened for me.
Although that relationship never developed into anything more that was my take away. And for that I am grateful.
Every relationship that we encounter every situation has an opportunity to teach us something if we pay attention to the lessons. We can be bitter or we can be better.
Yes I’m grateful for the memories that have popped up on my social media memories. It gives me a reflection to be grateful and to be hopeful that love is out there waiting for my arrival for the right person.
So don’t look at break ups as a negative perspective but look at it as a way to grow from it and to learn from it.
May you accept 2023 as it comes. Stay hopeful happy & healthy with your attitude and love will find a way to get to you in time. I’m rooting for you!
Signed,
A single woman in Focus today